Komen.

I really can't sum up the events of last week and my reaction to the actions of the Susan G. Komen foundation any better than Helen Philpot (of the hysterical Margaret and Helen blog) did. You'll have to sit thru her diatribe of the Virginia legislature in the first paragraph, to get the whole picture. Enjoy.....Three cheers for Virginia State Senator Janet Howell who gave the Old White Guys Club a taste of their own medicine. Virginia law makers are trying to pass their own version of the Texas law that requires a woman to have an ultrasound before terminating a pregnancy. Good ‘ole Senator Howell added an amendment that would require men to have a rectal exam and a cardiac stress test before obtaining a prescription for erectile dysfunction medication. I like how that lady thinks. Considering most of them have their head up their ass, a finger up the butt just might knock some sense into their brain. I wish politicians would figure out how to run the country rather than trying to run my uterus. Am I the only one to notice the hypocrisy of the Republican party? They want smaller government all right… just small enough to crawl up my vagina!

And shame on the Susan G. Komen Foundation for letting some Republican nut case from Georgia convince them to start picking on Planned Parenthood. With men like those Virginia State Legislators in the world, we women need to stick together. The folks at Komen might want to remember that is wasn’t all that long ago that breast cancer was another one of those women’s health issues that was feared and discussed in hushed tones, as if it were shameful. Women should be allowed to make medical decisions with their doctors and not with their politicians. Planned Parenthood is one of the largest providers of breast cancer screenings and mammogram referrals in the nation, and that asshat Karen Handel over at Komen is about to find out that Planned Parenthood is also one of the most trusted names in women’s healthcare. I surely would like to introduce Ms. Handel’s ass to my boot. A boot, I might add, that walked in many a Komen Race for a Cure. Now the only walking I’ll be doing is from my door to my mailbox to drop a check in the mail to Planned Parenthood. Women turning on other women when we already have the likes of Rick Perry to deal with… Well I never.

Maybe we should stop Walking for a Cure and start Walking for Respect. I mean it. Really.

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Scenes from a family Thanksgiving

I love Helen Philpot. Of Margaret and Helen's blog Here:

http://margaretandhelen.wordpress.com/

Here's Helen's Thanksgiving rules for kids and guests. Pay heed. Some of them are yours, too:

1. Chloe. I am begging you honey. None of that Jello crap. No one eats it and the garbage stinks for a week after I throw it out. You and Jello are like Palin and McCain. How many times before you learn no one wants seconds much less firsts.

2. Jennifer. Your children are cute. We all can agree on that. Your husband’s video camera capturing every runny nose and bowel movement– not so much. Keep this up honey and you’ll have one posing for Playgirl before you know it. It’s just not natural to be that comfortable in front of a camera. Ten minutes of video when you first arrive and then the camera goes back into the camera bag.

3. Trudy. If your brother and sister want to come, they can be on time like everyone else. If they are late again this year, they can eat what the dogs don’t finish.

4. Rhonda. It’s my oven and once again I’ll be using it right up until mealtime. If you can’t bring something that doesn’t require heating, then don’t bring anything at all.

5. Mary. Your kid’s dirty shoes and my clean sofa have never met. Let’s keep it that way.

6. If you are a meat-eater, try a vegetable for your health. If you are a vegetarian, try the stuffing for the bacon. Either way, you’ll be cured of what ails you.

7. If I see one grandchild doing that texting stuff, there will be no pie for dessert. If I see one parent checking email… scratch that – new rule. Leave your cell phone in your car. They used to be called mobile phones for a reason. Now-a-days the only thing mobile about your phone is your thumbs. Trust me. Skinny thumbs and a fat ass are not a good look.

8. Jonathan. How a Republican ended up in this family is beyond me, but we love you all the same. That said, Reagan is dead darling. Get over it.

9. I cooked the meal. Your grandfather paid for it. You can clean the kitchen and we’ll call it even.

10. Honestly, if you insist on bringing anything, bring some butter. I go through about 20 sticks to get this meal on the table and I might as well start stocking up for Christmas now.

11. Marshall. I am sure you believe that your children sing beautifully. Don’t put me in a situation where I have to make you question your beliefs.

12. Grandpa Harold says if the Longhorns win, the bar is open. If they lose, the party is BYOB.