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I'm a Minnesota Girl, living in the south. I tell my friends I try not to talk and think like a Yankee, but sometimes I slip up!
Showing posts with label awake. Show all posts
Showing posts with label awake. Show all posts

Saturday, November 7, 2009

It's 5 a.m.


What the hell am I doing up? I forgot to take my alarm off, and this is normal "wakey" time. If I wake now, I can catch 45 minutes of morning news and still get out of the house by 7. That's on the weekdays. 5 a.m. on a Saturday morning... well, I really should reconsider.

I slept long and well last night (Friday night "passing out" from a week's exhaustion)so I don't think I'll go back to bed. Leaving at 8 to go up to Allen's for breakfast. His community has a $2 breakfast buffet the first Saturday of every month. We laugh because in a 55+ community, he and I are, by far, the youngest ones.

Allen "celebrated" his 7th anniversary of his cancer diagnosis today. He was originally given 6 months to live. This summer's round of chemo was four treatments with a new drug. The round was supposed to be 6 infusions, but his symptoms abated after 4, and he's had some cardio issues due to all the chemo he has had. He's very positive right now, and (I pay attention to these things)has recently been making plans for next year. The new housing situation in this community is part of the reason; it gave him a fresh start, and, since he's on the first instead of the third floor, it's much less wear and tear for him. I think there was a fear that, moving as far north as he was, his friends would not see him as often. But April and I have hung in there; and he and I increase the profits of Steve's Cafe instead of Nikki's Omelets when we want a good, no nonsense breakfast. I'm looking forward to tomorrow.

Weird week at work. The Miami trip broke it up, but its been a crazy cycle of people behaving badly at work. More material for the eventual book. Possible titles.. "Going Rogue". Oh, that title is taken? I laughed at it. The definition of rogue is: "a deceitful and unreliable scoundrel". It is perfect for her. (And word is "Going Maverick" was taken).

Friday, October 17, 2008

Thoughts before dawn --




While reading Algernon's and Hal's blog I got stuck on the concept of insomnia, how it had affected my life, and pulled out an old poem. In the reread, I found it entirely too haunting and desolate... decided to offset it with another poem written in those early hours; one that more adequately describes the beauty of those pre-dawn hours. I hope you enjoy.





quid








Insomnia


Trapped in an endless pattern
Trying not to panic.
Sleepless world I’m in,
Silent, as the clock strikes 4 a.m.

Lifelong habit that has
Left me with permanent
Dark circles inhabiting my face,
Darker moods of exhaustion.

Herbs and drugs don’t
Help the pattern
Apparently, the only relief from
Anguish is to play-act.

I do. Meditating,
I convince myself that this “extra” time is
Valuable, special, a gift that
Very few people give themselves.

Permission to forgive myself lets me
Pretend to relax for years and then
Menopause arrives and brings with it
Many, many sleepless nights.

Insomnia.
Read the Stephen King book.
Watch the Al Pacino movie.
Finally succumb.


~quidrock 2003





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





A Beginning

Crescent of light, lost
In swirling, violet mists
Evening’s mystery.

Could it be that the
Beginning of time is the here and now?
Tranquil, new, serene.

Brave dawn of the naked world
Magical light covers velvet dark
And silent secrets.

Together, we are
Privy to the silence, the mystery.
Our quest to match this

Miracle of time
Together, begins in a
Word, a look, a bond.

It is a beginning.

~quidrock 12/03