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I'm a Minnesota Girl, living in the south. I tell my friends I try not to talk and think like a Yankee, but sometimes I slip up!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Very moved.

Andrea and her uncle Gary.... April 2009 in St. Pete Beach

Very moved today by some of Debby's writing, feels like she had a camera on my own life:

"It will be a different direction than I have traveled in my own life. I chose, and I chose poorly at times. I married who I shouldn't have. And then there were children who became the most important thing in my life, because that is what mothers do. My own needs became secondary to theirs. I know that some disagree with that, but I feel like my right to choose my path came secondary to what was best for my children. And so my life's decisions were based on them, not me. Don't get me wrong. Life has worked out for me."

Debby's blog:

Ah, children... my own daughter leaves to live in Louisville in February. Unlike the last time she left, she's not leaving to get away from her family, she's leaving despite the knowledge that not seeing each other in the most inauspicious way 3-4 times a week (I give her a ride to work), may just break both of our hearts a little. Unlike her flight to North Carolina at 19, this time I contrast the move to the same one I made, at the age of 24... for love to Rochester, NY. And I never went home to live again in Minnesota. My heart tells me this is what will happen for her. So it's good... it was a turning point for me, the largest and best in my life, and so it will probably be for her.

But my heart can break a little bit. Can't it?



Kelly said...

Of course it can! ...and may it all turn out just as she hopes and plans it will.

(she's beautiful!!)

Pam said...

Yes, she is quite simply lovely!

Life does have a way of taking us places we never dreamed we'd be, for various chapters in our lives.

Yes, children, often, for mothers, have a way of tethering our dreams or our life courses to them. At various stages of life we find ourselves letting them go, watching them go or taking them back under the wing, sometimes with children of their own.

Motherhood is a life choice, or life sentence (grin) depending on the way one chooses to look at it.

I wish Andrea well and I agree that your heart has no choice. It will ache and it will be difficult, in many ways, for both of you.

Marion said...

She is so beautiful and I'm sure you'll miss her! I feel for you. I didn't have empty nest until Sarah got married, then I knew she was really gone. Funny thing, but Paul (Sarah's husband) interviewed in Louisville, KY last week. It's his first interview for his Plastic Surgery residency! Wouldn't it be funny if both our kids ened up there? Hugs, Love & Blessings, dear friend...

Debby said...

Yes, Quid. It can. And it does. And it will some more.

And your girl? She is beautiful.

quid said...


Thanks, kind friends. Marion, if they're both in Louisville, I call for a party with moms, and soon.


Bob said...

Yes she is beautiful. And yes, of course, your heart can/will break. That's the irony of it all, isn't it?

I loved this.

Anonymous said...


Andrea is beautiful! Thank you for sharing her with us. And I liked the picture of Andrea with her uncle Gary.

I, too wish Andrea well.


I have to catch up with a lot of posts at everyone's blogs, but I would like to thank you for your nice and kind New Year's Wishes at my blog.
And I would like to wish you all the best for 2010.


quid said...

Raven -

Thanks for posting. It's always joyful to have you with us.